The ticking bomb gets a lot of compliments

We definitively thought we’d have ourselves a little October baby, but lo and behold, here we are in November already. I was telling Gabby this morning that we were beginning a new month and it was November now, and that’s when I remembered that, oh yeah, it’s MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!

I’ve been so focused on November being my due date that I’d forgotten it’s also my birthday month. Now it will be a double birthday month, so double the birthday cupcakes! Gabby was pretty excited about that idea. I have to admit I am too!

Anyway, the one and only thing I REALLY wanted to do during my maternity leave was to get a haircut. I’d been putting it off for so long, thinking I’d just get it done when I was on maternity leave before the baby came. So when we had the preterm labor scare and the bed rest sentence, my first thought (aside from the baby’s health, obviously) was “no no no, I didn’t have time to get my haircut yet!”

As soon as I turned 37 weeks, I called my hair stylist. Her first appointment time that worked for me was yesterday. My biggest fear was to go in labor between the time I made the appointment and the time of the appointment itself. I figured, with my luck, I would probably go in labor on my way to the hair salon.

When I got downtown for the appointment, it was packed. I guess a lot of college students wait at the last minute to go buy a Halloween costume. I couldn’t find parking near the salon, I ended up having to park half a mile away. The only thing on my mind during the entire walk was “please don’t let my water break, please don’t let my water break.” Yeah, it would be embarrassing to walk four blocks in wet pants, but mostly I just wanted to make it to that hair salon! To add to the fun, I had forgotten my cell phone at home. I don’t think I was ever so stressed in my life!

But it’s November 1st now and I’m still pregnant, so you know how the story ends. None of the nightmare scenarios my brain invented while walking half a mile alone downtown without a cell phone happened, and I finally got my haircut. Phew!

The funny thing is, now that I’m telling people I’m due in two weeks, everyone’s going on and on about how small I look. I hear a lot of “2 weeks?! No way, you’ve just got that cute little baby bump, nothing else!” My hair stylist kept saying how lucky I was because with the smock on, she couldn’t even tell I was pregnant. She insisted my face still looked the same, like I hadn’t put on any weight at all.

Of course, I call BS on the lot of them. I’ve gained 35 pounds so far and I’m showing everyone of them. Every part of my body is twice its normal size, and don’t even get me started on my chubby round cheeks and my double chin! Either I’ve been pregnant so long that they don’t remember what I looked like before, or they’re lying to my face. The way I see it, people just hear the words “two weeks” and get so scared I’m going to pop while I’m talking to them that they shower me with compliments just in case that might help keep the baby in long enough for them to walk away to safety. I get it, I’d do the same thing too!


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