On my first two days back home

Going back home from the hospital was surreal. I felt like I had been away forever, when in fact I had only missed 2 full days of work. The doctor told me I was on “modified bed rest”, which means I’m allowed to recline on the couch most of the day. Since I’m a programmer, that means I can work remotely on my laptop so life goes on as normal, pretty much. I’ve been able to put in my hours at work even if I can’t actually show up to work anymore, and that’s saving me from going crazy right now!

The other surreal thing is not knowing how long I have left. If my contractions were totally gone, maybe I would be able to accept that I have some 6 weeks left before this baby comes. But since I’ve left the hospital, the contractions have been hovering around 3-5 per hour. If they get up to 6 per hour consistently, I have to head back to the hospital. That means I have to keep monitoring them constantly. There’s always a thought at the back of my mind saying, “uh oh, should I start packing my bags?” It’s a strange feeling to live every day in that monitoring mode, never really knowing if you’re going to make it one more day.

My mom was staying with us this week to help out, and she left this morning with Gabby to spend a couple of days in Thousand Oaks. Chris has done more than his share of parenting (and housekeeping!) in the last 4 weeks, I’ve been taking it pretty easy since I’ve felt the baby drop around 30 weeks. I’m sad to see Gabby leave for a couple of days when I’ve already missed her a few days this week, but I know Chris really needs the break. Heck, he needed the break even before this hell of a week started!

You’d think Gabby would miss me, or act stressed out, but she’s so excited to spend time with grandma that she’s hardly noticed anything else. It would almost be insulting if it weren’t so convenient. She didn’t want to pick me up at the hospital on Wednesday because she thought that meant grandma would leave. My mom promised she’d stay a little longer, I’m pretty sure that’s the only reason Gabby allowed me to come back home at all 🙂


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