Taking a step back

I was really really hoping the hand washing fear was at the root of her potty refusal, but sadly it was not. Day after day, still countless accidents and hardly any successes at all. What’s worse, Chris and I were getting so upset about it (ok, only I) and she was getting so nervous about it that she just kept holding it in and causing herself constipation despite us shoving prunes in her mouth to no end. Not healthy.

I was so stubborn about not giving up, because I’m the one in power and I’m going to win this fight. Once again, it took some Internet research to make me realize no threat or decibel level is going to make her potty trained again. It sucks, it really sucks and the defeat is so painful after all the time and effort it took to get her potty trained in the first place. But ultimately I cannot reward, punish, threaten, or shame her into using the potty again. And lord knows I’ve tried all of those. She has to do it on her own time, after she’s dealt with whatever emotional distress has caused her to pull a 180 on potty habits, namely and surely the new baby. So as much as it hurts, she’s back in diapers again.

I’m honestly crying over it right now, and I’ll blame the raging pregnancy hormones and the lingering god-awful sinus headache. I feel like a horrible parent for losing my patience and yelling at her at every accident, for stressing her out over it, and for being every bit as goddamn stubborn as she is. I’m livid that we were done and now we have to start all over again. And I’m embarrassed I’m really not handling the situation with anymore maturity than she is.

At least I’ll have gained experience and wisdom with the first child. With the second child, I won’t even try to potty train until he or she starts high school! Problem solved!

One thought on “Taking a step back

  1. It took Anna a long time too. We tried early because her daycare said she was ready then we went back to diapers too. It’s okay. Don’t feel bad. She still wears diapers at night too and who knows for how long. It’s so much better if you’re not all stressed. It’s no ones fault.

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