Hysterosalpingogram and other large words

Like I’ve briefly mentioned, we’ve been going through a few fertility tests to rule out any valid reason why it’s taking us so long to conceive. We’ve gotten a few more results this week and everything looks totally normal.

The doctor had told me that if all the tests came back normal, which they did, he’d order a Fallopian tube x-ray, medically known as a Hysterosalpingogram, to eliminate the possibility of tube blockage. I guess tube blockage is pretty common. The doctor said the test helps determine if blockage is the cause of the infertility, and it will also — and I quote — “clean things out”. That’s official medical terminology right there. Apparently many women get pregnant immediately following the test due to the test’s therapeutic effect, win-win.

So I called the number they gave me to schedule the test.

Receptionist: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Me: “I need to schedule a tube x-ray.”

Receptionist: “A what?”

Me: “A Fallopian tube x-ray.”

Receptionist: “Don’t you mean an ultrasound?”

Me: “No, I’m pretty sure it was an x-ray.”

Receptionist, resorting to looking up my chart in the system: “Oh! He ordered you a hysterosalpingogram!”

Me: “Yes. That word.”

Receptionist: “That’s a different department, let me transfer you.”

…..

Receptionist #2: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Me: “I need to schedule a hysterical-hippopotamus-gram.”

Receptionist #2: “A hysterosalpingogram?”

Me: “Yes. That word. A hystero-bingo-gram.”

So now I’m scheduled for a hystero-salt-pingpong-gram for Tuesday. In any case, the doctor said that’s pretty much the end of the line for us. If we were not to conceive for another 3-6 months after the “therapeutic” x-ray test, the next step is In vitro fertilization and we’re definitively NOT interested in going that far (read: spending that much money). For now I remain hopeful that the x-ray will help, it makes sense to me that there might be some blockage following the last pregnancy. Who knows what kind of weird stuff might have happened when things were snapping back into place!

If nothing else, time and patience will probably eventually do the trick. Until my patience runs out, that is! But in the mean time, it’s very reassuring to know we’re both healthy despite our stressful jobs and ridiculous schedules!

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