Gabrielle’s Axioms

Me: What’s the planet closest to the sun?
Gabby: Mercury.
(I pat myself on the back)
Me: What happens to the sun at night, does it turn off or does it go to the other side of the planet?
Gabby: Other side of the planet.
(I should win the Mother of the Year award)
Me: How do you know?
Gabby: Cats eat meat.
(Hum…… Never mind.)

Gabby, running into our room at 5:45am totally freaking out: MY ROOM IS DIRTY!
Me: Oh no, Gabby, what did you do?
Gabby: THERE’S POOP ON MY BED!!!
(Note: There wasn’t. It was just an old food stain.)

Gabby is doing a dinosaur floor puzzle while I sit on the couch and play on my phone. After a while I started feeling bad that I wasn’t hanging out with her, so I joined her on the floor.
Gabby: No! Go on the couch, mom!
Me: Gabby, can you ask nicely?
Gabby: Nicely….. I do it myself. I do it MYSELF.
Me: Ok, ok. I’m back on the couch. You do it.
Gabby, suddenly crying hysterically: AH! I can’t find it! I can’t find the blue dinosaur body!
Me: Gabby, calm down. If you need help, just ask for help. But don’t cry. Do you want help?
Gabby: Yes.
(I start getting up)
Gabby: No! Stay on the couch. I do it MYSELF!
She did the whole puzzle by herself (no vocal clues, no help) three times in a row! Kept her busy for 20 minutes. Ah, kids getting older rocks!

Gabby’s been all about her clock turning green. Now every time we put her to bed to bed, she says “good night until my light’s green!”

In other news, I bought Mary Poppins and Gabby is now always singing “chim chimminey” around the house all the time.
Me: The song is stuck in your head?
Gabby: Yeah.
Me: Me too.
Gabby: The song is stuck in your hair?! LET ME SEE!!!
(She starts picking at my hair like a monkey)
Me: Not in my hair, in my head!
Gabby: WHAT?!
Oops! I should probably watch the expressions I use around her. And sarcasm!

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