131

Oh yeah, they’re back! The weight posts are back! I’ve been feeling really depressed and self-conscious this fall about my fat belly and my muffin top that felt HUGE. We don’t have a scale at home so I never really look into these things, but I weighted myself at my parents house recently and I was at 133. That’s 5 lbs from my normal post-baby-weight-loss weight and 10 lbs more than my pre-baby weight. I have never in my life been over 130. And now I’m turning 30 and damn it all if I’m going to turn 30 feeling terrible about myself! I don’t take any issue with my upcoming new decade gain, but I do take issue going through a major milestone feeling that way.

I’m really not sure how it happened because my diet hasn’t gotten much worse then before. Maybe we’re eating differently now that we live in a house and a new neighborhood? I think part of the problem is that we’ve been trying really hard to make ends meet financially… or more like trying really to make ends meet while savings money so we’re not screwed if something breaks down in the house! I’ve been hitting the PB&Js really hard cause they are SO CHEAP, especially compared to the $9 salads I grabbed for lunch a few times a week at the nearby sandwich shop, but I have a personal history with PB&J and I know they expand my waist like no one’s business. So the first step is to cut the sandwiches and eat leftovers or homemade salads instead.

Another thing I’m doing now to change is not finishing my meals at restaurants. I never used to, but with Gabby in tow it seems like to much work/time to ask for a to go box so I started pushing myself to eat it all. No bueno. Honestly, the food doesn’t even taste good at the end cause I’m so full, so that’s the end of that. Eat half, and you get a free leftover lunch! PB&J problem solved!

The other is, I was not doing as much exercise as I would have liked. I kept telling myself I was going to start working out after Gabby went to bed or before she woke up, but that’s just all kinds of ridiculous. I already have a writing job that I have to do at night and when I don’t write I’m TIRED and want time off. I’m just human. I don’t need to squeeze in more during those precious few hours when Gabby is alseep and I’m not! So in October I told Chris enough is enough, I’m going to take time for myself and he’s going to watch Gabby while I do that. Because doing a little more exercise makes me a happier healthier wife and mom. If he wants to take the same amount of time outside the house to do whatever he wants while I babysit Gabby, that’s totally fine, but if he chooses not to I’m not going to feel bad about it anymore. I’m glad to report I’ve been going on a 1-hour walk at least twice a week after dinner, on top of my weekly workout class (was Yoga, now Zumba).

Another thing I’m wondering… I stopped Yoga because it was starting to hurt my wrists (which are already stressed from lifting a 35 lbs child too often), and coincidentally a friend of mine wanted to try Zumba. Zumba is super fun, but I wonder if the aerobics isn’t doing as much good for my body type as Yoga was doing. I miss Yoga, I might try to go back to that.

Finally, I was on antibiotics for my messed up face for a few months. Stupid perioral dermatitis acting up again. My mom said antibiotics can mess with your system and that it could be why I’ve gained weight. Any excuse I can use to take the blame away from me, I’ll accept it! The meds were making the dermatitis better but not totally gone, and after 3 months I figured that was enough. I stopped them and decided to try more natural alternatives. It’s not like it hurts anyone anyway, other than making my face dry, itchy, scaly, and red. Not ideal, but I can deal with it and it does go away on its own after a long time (think years!!). I’m glad to report the dermatitis hasn’t gotten worse since I stopped the med, so it’s possible it’ll be quite tolerable for some time. I also stopped using products that are potential causes (there are no medically-accepted causes, but there are speculations according to the highly reliable people of the internet who swear that drinking pickle juice on the third rain of the month TOTALLY CURED THEIR PERIORAL DERMATITIS OMG!!1!), so hopefully that will help.

Anyway, while all this is going on, I’m breaking out the old Wii Fit to do some additional exercises with Gabby (she likes the Hula Hoop game!) and check my weight weekly. I’m going to log it here to make sure I stick to my weight loss plan! I’m sure you’re all super excited about that. I set my goal to 10 lbs in 3 months, but I’d be happy if I just lost the extra 5 from my post-baby weight. I started all this 2 weeks ago and already went from 133 to 131. Let’s hope it wasn’t just a difference in time of day! First Wii Fit weight check-in was at night, second time in the morning, so that’s kind of cheating. Please do yell at me if the numbers start going up 🙂

Other than that, we rented Brave with Gabby the other night. She was fascinated.. Didn’t move or talk through the whole movie. When it ended, she said sitting on the couch quietly, I guess just trying to process the story. I brought her to the bathroom to brush her teeth because it was time for bed, and finally after a little while she said very seriously, “the girl…. turned into… a bear.”

Great, now she’s traumatized for life.

I explained to Gabby that the princess wanted her mom to change so the mom changed into a bear, and that’s bad so you have to be careful what you wish for. Then I promised mommy wasn’t going to turn into a bear so she didn’t need to worry about that. She didn’t seem convinced.